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Joke Of The Day


rdrdreamer

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Joe and Bill are out fishing and sipping beer while discussing football and NASCAR.

 

All of a sudden Joe says, "I think I'm gonna divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in over 6 months."

 

Bill sips his beer and says, "You better think it over, women like that are hard to find."

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A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight. “This is exciting,†thought the gentleman. “I’ve always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I’ll be able to see him in person.â€

 

Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in the seat next to him for the flight. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to the Pontiff. Shortly after take-off, the Pope began a crossword puzzle. “This is fantastic,†thought the gentleman. “I’m really good at crosswords. Perhaps, if the Pope gets stuck, he’ll ask me for assistance.â€

 

Almost immediately, the Pope turned to the gentleman and said, “Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends with the letters ‘u-n-t?’â€

 

Only one word leapt to mind…

 

“My goodness,†thought the gentleman, “I can’t tell the Pope that. There must be another word.â€

 

The gentleman thought for quite a while, then it hit him. Turning to the pope, the gentleman said, “I think the word you’re looking for is ‘aunt’.â€

 

“Of course,†said the Pope. “Do you have an eraser?â€

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A blonde USC fan is on a date with a geography teacher. “Believe it or not, I know all the state capitals,†she says proudly.

 

“Oh, yeah?†says the guy. “What’s the capital of Wisconsin?â€

“That’s easy,†she replies. “It’s a W.â€

 

And last but not least...

 

Two first-year Michigan engineering students—both blondes—are asked to measure the height of the college flagpole. They go outside to inspect the challenge, but are unable to come up with a way to do it.

 

A couple of minutes later, a senior student walks up and asks what they are looking at. They explain their task and ask for help.

 

“Easy†says the senior. He takes the flagpole down, pulls out a tape measure and tells them, “It’s 30 feet long.â€

 

One of the blondes crosses her arms in disgust. “We need the height, dumbass, not the length!â€

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Guest gallup21

haha thats great. this one mayve been seen before, but its a personal favorite.

 

What's the difference between Michigan Stadium and a porcupine?

 

A porcupine has 100,000 pricks on the outside

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I was on this plane once. And I'm sittin' there and the captain comes on and he does his whole, "We'll be cruising at 35,000 feet," then he puts the mike down but he forgets to turn it off. Then he turns to the copilot and goes, "You know, all I could go for right now is a f'n blow job and a cup of coffee." So the stewardess f'n goes bombin' up from the back of the plane to tell him the mic's still on, and this guy behind me goes, "Hey hun, don't forget the coffee!"

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