Have a smile episode #4 onward to SZouth Bend

[Guest SirJohn]

When last we left Sir John and Coach Dan were in a borrowed golf cart going to South Bend. That cliff hanging episode ended with nail biting screams and exploding beer cans. Drat! That bridge was out after all, from a warning from a previous episode.

 

( The Colonel Bogie March from The Bridge over the river Kwai has now been replaced by an crackling William Tell overture coming from a now very smashed duct taped Boom Box.)

 

Coach Dan’s hair is smoking from a bad recharge of the golf cart the other night. His Arnold whatever, mask now replaced by a Shrek mask.

 

Driving backwards the camera crew struggles to keep up.

 

“Ungah, does Muck Fishigan think any of what we have done will land us behind bars?”

 

Opening another beer, coach Dan turns with a smile. “You can’t mean that, what saloon would trust us behind the bar?”

 

Moments pass with cars screaming by them and people shouting. (These are called secondary unit shots to let the stars relax in a trailer sucking a beer.)

 

“Were the real tailgates of Notre Dame.” Coach Dan laughs.

 

“We have no tail. And I thought that was tailgters?”

 

“I’m not stepping into that remark this is a clean site. Ryan will kill me.”

 

“Coach Dan, I am not sure ‘borrowing one of Ty’s golf carts was the best idea.”

 

(The music is now replaced by the sound of hundreds of hoof beats on the ground. But it was just Ty’s coaches leaving town.)

 

“He abandoned four when he left in a hurry. We now look like typical fans.”

 

Running low on funds Sir John quickly established a toll booth on the interstate hwy. within no time he has accumulated 300 pound sack of quarters and slugs. (Hoosier hospitality.)

 

Spending overnight at a KOC they debated switching to a near by Oscar Meyer Weiner vehicle but decided against it as drawing too much attention when at South Bend.

 

Ungah, Muck Fishigan I don’t wish to point the obvious out to you, but you seem to be driving this golf cart backwards today. The film crew is cursing you. But then everyone you know curses you.”

 

“ Do you think I’m stupid?”

 

“That thought has occurred to me. Was it my fault you wanted to stop at a KROCK park?”

 

“That’s KOC I have a crick in my neck. Haven’t you yet noticed I can’t turn my head around today? That’s why I’m driving backwards.”

 

“:I wondered why you looked so much better face to face today. Let me get this straight, you posse es a crick from the Knock?”

 

“I do believe my ex wife said that many times. I can’t wait to get to the game. The fight, the struggle the battle.”

 

“Yes, Muck Fishigan I can’t wait till we see Toby and Domehead arguing over how to make and spell an Amaretto sour correctly.” (Apologies to a couple of guys.)

 

“You’re the Indian scout.... what’s our next stop before South Bend?”

 

According to my estimation the next stop is, Akron Ohio.”

 

“Akron Ohio? You have us driving on this from Chicago to South Bend, via Akron? That’s totally stupid.”

 

“I chose the scenic route.” Sir John beams into the camera showing his $65,000 worth of Orthodontics, sans two teeth from the above bridge being out crash.

 

“Akron is scenic?”

 

“Akron has mountains of old rubber automobile tires. It turns me on.”

 

 

 

Sir John