SirJohn
02-05-2006, 03:56 AM
NEWS FLASH!
DomersDomain always on the look out for hot news stories so has sent Sir John, 'often attacked writer, termed the loser,' to Chicago to interview Coach Dan 'The Chicago based Stat man for a report. This report was originally written in September. Due to his expense account it took till today for Sir John to hitch hike back from Chicago and file.
Sir John caught up with the elusive mysterious ( read Strange) masked man in the elf outfit and here's what he had to say. By the way I ripped the oft used words 'and heres what he had to say, from some paid site.'
SJ: "Gad! This beer you gave me Sucks. Thanks for the interview. Can you give me the Stats on the upcoming Pittsburgh game?"
Coach Dan: "Per the Beer. I know the can's been open for a month. Stats? Certainly. ND wins 42 -21 Quinn will pass making 18 of 21 with 1 int. For 227 Fasano who will go to NFL at end of the year nabs 4 passes for 42 Samar, a rising star will get 3 for 24."
SJ NOTE: ( Due to 5 days in the hospital, having my stomach pumped out and the above delay it wasn't till January 30th I could return and discover the incredible accuracy of Coach Dan's Stat report.)
SJ: "That's an incredible set of predictions. Media says we lose big time. By the way I feel ill."
Coach Dan: "You look ill. I thought it was just your normal expression. Media? 'Wadda they know, come on, gimmie a break' Corso and Mays suck worse than that beer."
SJ "Can...Belch! You give me a report to report back to DD?"
Coach Dan: "I report I have nothing to report. At the moment I am statless."
SJ "BARF! But, Uragahhh...my stomich. I came all this way for a report that's no report?"
Coach Dan: smirking behind the mask. "Oh thy youth. A report that there is nothing to report is a reported report." (ie: All's Quiet on the Western Front. Bit of literary sop to readers :) )
SJ "Burp! Excuse me. So how close are you to Coach Weis for this incredible inside information?"
Coach Dan: "Close? Jeese expect me to recall the distance from Chicago to South Bend in miles off hand? I'm the Stat man but leave the driving to 'us, them or whoever. Actually, I am asking for a spot on his recruiting staff at Notre Dame at this very moment we speak."
SJ: "Your talking to me now as you speak and him as well at the same instance. Incredible I thought I was starting to hear mutiple, BURP! voices. I'll do a mapquest on the distance for you when I return.
But I think Coach Weis has Chicago pretty well covered by his present Scouts."
Coach Dan: Smiling behind a mask. "Chicago? Heck no I was thinking Coach Weis genius that he is has forgotten Hawaii and Tahiti. I'm willing to pull up roots here in cold Chicago and sacrifice myself to help Notre Dame."
DomersDomain always on the look out for hot news stories so has sent Sir John, 'often attacked writer, termed the loser,' to Chicago to interview Coach Dan 'The Chicago based Stat man for a report. This report was originally written in September. Due to his expense account it took till today for Sir John to hitch hike back from Chicago and file.
Sir John caught up with the elusive mysterious ( read Strange) masked man in the elf outfit and here's what he had to say. By the way I ripped the oft used words 'and heres what he had to say, from some paid site.'
SJ: "Gad! This beer you gave me Sucks. Thanks for the interview. Can you give me the Stats on the upcoming Pittsburgh game?"
Coach Dan: "Per the Beer. I know the can's been open for a month. Stats? Certainly. ND wins 42 -21 Quinn will pass making 18 of 21 with 1 int. For 227 Fasano who will go to NFL at end of the year nabs 4 passes for 42 Samar, a rising star will get 3 for 24."
SJ NOTE: ( Due to 5 days in the hospital, having my stomach pumped out and the above delay it wasn't till January 30th I could return and discover the incredible accuracy of Coach Dan's Stat report.)
SJ: "That's an incredible set of predictions. Media says we lose big time. By the way I feel ill."
Coach Dan: "You look ill. I thought it was just your normal expression. Media? 'Wadda they know, come on, gimmie a break' Corso and Mays suck worse than that beer."
SJ "Can...Belch! You give me a report to report back to DD?"
Coach Dan: "I report I have nothing to report. At the moment I am statless."
SJ "BARF! But, Uragahhh...my stomich. I came all this way for a report that's no report?"
Coach Dan: smirking behind the mask. "Oh thy youth. A report that there is nothing to report is a reported report." (ie: All's Quiet on the Western Front. Bit of literary sop to readers :) )
SJ "Burp! Excuse me. So how close are you to Coach Weis for this incredible inside information?"
Coach Dan: "Close? Jeese expect me to recall the distance from Chicago to South Bend in miles off hand? I'm the Stat man but leave the driving to 'us, them or whoever. Actually, I am asking for a spot on his recruiting staff at Notre Dame at this very moment we speak."
SJ: "Your talking to me now as you speak and him as well at the same instance. Incredible I thought I was starting to hear mutiple, BURP! voices. I'll do a mapquest on the distance for you when I return.
But I think Coach Weis has Chicago pretty well covered by his present Scouts."
Coach Dan: Smiling behind a mask. "Chicago? Heck no I was thinking Coach Weis genius that he is has forgotten Hawaii and Tahiti. I'm willing to pull up roots here in cold Chicago and sacrifice myself to help Notre Dame."