SirJohn
01-08-2006, 08:57 PM
Fiesta 2 (helps also if you read previous episodes of Sir Joh and Coach Dan here in open)
You gotta stay with this story folks. It helps if you know some of the nuances of Old Westerns. This is like John Wayne’s, john Ford’s Stagecoach. Or incredible Hollywood movies. A romance between a Giant Ape and a woman?
(Come to think of it when was the last time I had a nuance? Is there a place you can buy these? He wondered if in a dark bar he ever told an women he liked her nuances?)
The Japanese Zero with the Buckeye logo made another pass dropping a load of Buckeye nuts.
(Not the human fans Bucknuts guys, those inedible things that grow on trees in Ohio. Come to think of it they both are the same thing.)
“He’s turning away. I think he needs to refuel. That sucker will be back.”
Sir John tossed away the beer can with the bullet hole in it. “ I need to refuel lets get another beer.”
(Slight correction here. He properly disposed of the bullet shot beer can in a hanging bag to be recycled. He did not want any ND fan accused of littering. Paying attention Michiganand Colorado?)
Coach Dan turned his Pete Rose Masked elf face to Sir John. “I am not completely without brains. In the back bin of this Golf Cart I have a Mini electric fired hand held Gatling gun like in the Predator movie with Arnold Schwartzenager and Jessie Ventura had in the jungle. I want you to climb back there and shoot the SOB down with it. We will send Laura a sympathy card...something Cheap from Family Dollar no Hallmark.”
Sir John looked stupefied. But then he always did. Rubbing his face he realized he needed a shave. Taking a swig of beer he gave Scout.com wisdom to Coach Dan.
“You rotten M**** ***** we have an illegal machine gun in the back. Do you know what troubles we would have with Homeland Security let alone Fiesta guards?” He took a deep pull on his beer.
“Not to worry.” The elf smiled or rather, Pete Rose did. “I covered it all.”
Sir John only swigged again. “This is not going to get you into that Hall of Fame. Let me point out something. Your basing our lives on some cockamamie California Govenors movie and some Jerk Governor/wrestler from Minnesota?”
“Of course. You have to rely upon resources.”
Sir John rubbed his face again and draining his beer tossed the can away. To heck with the Notre Dame image of neatness.
Coach Dan I hate to tell you this but that Mini Gatling gun Jessie Ventura used is a myth.”
Pete Rose looked shocked. “Myth?”
“Yes you see to power the electricity in a gun like that you would have to lug about 800 automobile batteries around. Even Jessie can’t do that. What they did is run an electric cord up his sleeve and then down his pants leg to this big electric generator off screen.”
Coach Dan or Pete Rose....thought a moment. “It seems workable look”
Suddenly (These things happen in incredible movies) in the midst of the Bonneville Salt flats appeared a dilapidated building with a sign “CHAMPION 10 SPARK PLUGS, U HAUL RENTAL and LAST BEER FOR 400 MILES”
Our two heros pulled up in front of the store and more or less weived inside.
They then staggered up to the counter behind which was a nondescript student named Champion10. (But I’ll let his mother describe him) Facing the masked man he immediately threw his hands in the air.
Amidst falling playing cards, the Masked Elf gasped out
We need beer, 200 feet of electric cord and a gas powered generator on a U haul”
Seeing his commission check immediately expanded Champion 10 furiously started writing a Bill as Sir John placed that stolen Bucknuts credit card on the counter.
Finished with the bill Champion 10 looked up. “What an incredible bunch of purchases. Can I ask why?”
The masked Elf (Pete Rose then explained.) We are on our way to the Fiesta Bowl to watch Notre Dame beat Ohio. We just got machine gunned from a Japanese Zero by Bucknuts Hawk. We need this stuff to feel good and shoot the sucker down.”
“That’s incredible to believe” Champion10 stated rubbing his unshaven chin stubble. (Five o’clock shadow gets some girls) :D
“My whole life is incredible Sir John remarked.” :(
“Well....” Champion 10 remarked. “You see the game is over. Notre Dame lost”
After separating the two slugging and fighting figures screaming, “Lousy directions and other insults they decided to head for the Georgia Tech game.
Our last view is of Sir John sucking a beer and cradling a Mini Gatling gun on the back of a golf cart. One leg strung out from which runs a 200-yard electric cord to a U Haul behind, containing a chugging generator. South Bend here they come 235 days to go.
You gotta stay with this story folks. It helps if you know some of the nuances of Old Westerns. This is like John Wayne’s, john Ford’s Stagecoach. Or incredible Hollywood movies. A romance between a Giant Ape and a woman?
(Come to think of it when was the last time I had a nuance? Is there a place you can buy these? He wondered if in a dark bar he ever told an women he liked her nuances?)
The Japanese Zero with the Buckeye logo made another pass dropping a load of Buckeye nuts.
(Not the human fans Bucknuts guys, those inedible things that grow on trees in Ohio. Come to think of it they both are the same thing.)
“He’s turning away. I think he needs to refuel. That sucker will be back.”
Sir John tossed away the beer can with the bullet hole in it. “ I need to refuel lets get another beer.”
(Slight correction here. He properly disposed of the bullet shot beer can in a hanging bag to be recycled. He did not want any ND fan accused of littering. Paying attention Michiganand Colorado?)
Coach Dan turned his Pete Rose Masked elf face to Sir John. “I am not completely without brains. In the back bin of this Golf Cart I have a Mini electric fired hand held Gatling gun like in the Predator movie with Arnold Schwartzenager and Jessie Ventura had in the jungle. I want you to climb back there and shoot the SOB down with it. We will send Laura a sympathy card...something Cheap from Family Dollar no Hallmark.”
Sir John looked stupefied. But then he always did. Rubbing his face he realized he needed a shave. Taking a swig of beer he gave Scout.com wisdom to Coach Dan.
“You rotten M**** ***** we have an illegal machine gun in the back. Do you know what troubles we would have with Homeland Security let alone Fiesta guards?” He took a deep pull on his beer.
“Not to worry.” The elf smiled or rather, Pete Rose did. “I covered it all.”
Sir John only swigged again. “This is not going to get you into that Hall of Fame. Let me point out something. Your basing our lives on some cockamamie California Govenors movie and some Jerk Governor/wrestler from Minnesota?”
“Of course. You have to rely upon resources.”
Sir John rubbed his face again and draining his beer tossed the can away. To heck with the Notre Dame image of neatness.
Coach Dan I hate to tell you this but that Mini Gatling gun Jessie Ventura used is a myth.”
Pete Rose looked shocked. “Myth?”
“Yes you see to power the electricity in a gun like that you would have to lug about 800 automobile batteries around. Even Jessie can’t do that. What they did is run an electric cord up his sleeve and then down his pants leg to this big electric generator off screen.”
Coach Dan or Pete Rose....thought a moment. “It seems workable look”
Suddenly (These things happen in incredible movies) in the midst of the Bonneville Salt flats appeared a dilapidated building with a sign “CHAMPION 10 SPARK PLUGS, U HAUL RENTAL and LAST BEER FOR 400 MILES”
Our two heros pulled up in front of the store and more or less weived inside.
They then staggered up to the counter behind which was a nondescript student named Champion10. (But I’ll let his mother describe him) Facing the masked man he immediately threw his hands in the air.
Amidst falling playing cards, the Masked Elf gasped out
We need beer, 200 feet of electric cord and a gas powered generator on a U haul”
Seeing his commission check immediately expanded Champion 10 furiously started writing a Bill as Sir John placed that stolen Bucknuts credit card on the counter.
Finished with the bill Champion 10 looked up. “What an incredible bunch of purchases. Can I ask why?”
The masked Elf (Pete Rose then explained.) We are on our way to the Fiesta Bowl to watch Notre Dame beat Ohio. We just got machine gunned from a Japanese Zero by Bucknuts Hawk. We need this stuff to feel good and shoot the sucker down.”
“That’s incredible to believe” Champion10 stated rubbing his unshaven chin stubble. (Five o’clock shadow gets some girls) :D
“My whole life is incredible Sir John remarked.” :(
“Well....” Champion 10 remarked. “You see the game is over. Notre Dame lost”
After separating the two slugging and fighting figures screaming, “Lousy directions and other insults they decided to head for the Georgia Tech game.
Our last view is of Sir John sucking a beer and cradling a Mini Gatling gun on the back of a golf cart. One leg strung out from which runs a 200-yard electric cord to a U Haul behind, containing a chugging generator. South Bend here they come 235 days to go.